What a great movie. Not Matthew McConaughey's best look, but let's face it- he's always dreamy. And no one ever looked at M&M's the same way again. Or teal bridal gowns either, for that matter. But this post is clearly not about that movie. It's about helping you make the right choice of a wedding planner. And even if you choose not to hire one, you'll undoubtedly still have one. Wedding's don't happen without them. Even small, simple, courthouse weddings. The way I see it, there are three different kinds of wedding planners: professionals, trusted friends and family, and brides. And really, the choice that's right for you depends on your particular situation.
Frankly, I would never recommend that the bride do all the planning, tasting, booking, visiting, ordering, visioning, and worrying all by herself. I mean, think about it. Would you really want to handle all of that on your own? The only case I would consider this even feasible is in a small (under 30 person attendance) backyard/home setting. And if that's your goal, then I won't try to stop you. But I will tell you that when you're three weeks away from your big day and it suddenly dawns on your caterer that he did, in fact, have a prior booking for the night of your nuptials, you will most definitely need some help with last-minute stress-management.
If your wedding is particularly large, extravagant, or expensive, you may choose to hire a professional wedding planner. True wedding planners cost a hefty amount, but are often worth the expense, as they usually do all of the planning, ordering, and yelling for you. You tell them your personal style and sign-off on all the big decisions, and the pains of long hours of research and price-haggling are spared. This is always an excellent choice for those brides out there who tend to be easily stressed-out. (Trust me- the weeks leading up to your wedding are not the days that you want to be wound so tight that you're pulling your hair out. Frankly, no one likes a bald bride. Unless she's making a statement for her best friend who's struggling with cancer-that is a very beautiful thing.)
My personal choice for a wedding planner lied largely in my mother. I can not tell you how many countless hours she spent on helping me with every last detail (and every big or minute decision) that was involved in my planning process. As my wedding was mostly a DIY affair, she also functioned as my own personal Martha-Stewart-meets-Vera-Wang project consultant. She was absolutely wonderful. And I tend to think that this works across the board- people who love you and know everything about you (from your food preferences to your emotional breaking-point) work best. They're honest about what those designer dresses look like on you, they'd do anything short of committing murder to help you, they love to be your shoulder to cry on, and they know without a doubt that you absolutely hate those 'phoofy' flowers. You just can't get any better than that.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Never-Ending List...
Unless you're one of those rare brides whose parents happen to be made of money, you've got another stresser coming... the guest list. Three little words (two really, if you leave out the 'the') that seem extremely innocent at first glance: just a simple list of people whom you love, care for, and hope can participate in your special day. Not so hard, right? Just write down the names of the people that you want with you on the most special day of your life. Easy... and yet anyone who's ever been in this position knows that the compilation of names on that piece of paper can multiply even faster than 'study group' snacks can disappear. (And that's fast. Super fast.)
The problem is simple: you are way more popular than you thought. No, really- I would never lie to you like that. Your thought progression will go something like this... At first, it's a simple list of close mutual friends and immediate family. Totally doable. And then it's your best friends from high school. Great. Those girls from your college suite. Sure. That group of people that he worked with. Maybe. The great-aunts and fourth cousins that have always been included in family events like this. Intimidating. Current coworkers, rec leagues, neighbors, and all of their dates. Completely ridiculous. This is never going to work.
And the simple truth of the matter is this: you simply can't invite everyone that you know. Yes, your great aunt Martha is probably going to be offended that she wasn't necessary to your ceremony. And yes, your husband may be a little upset at the fact that his junior-high tennis partner was dropped. But that's okay; he'll get over it. In today's world, brides typically have to choose between a 500 person attendance or the steak and champagne dinner. And sometimes it's a hard choice, but you want your wedding to be memorable and enjoyable for everyone involved. (For my husband and I, the sacrifice of our family and friends just wasn't worth a stunning reception hall or a Hummer limo getaway.)
Don't let this stress you out too much. Rule people out by categories: all coworkers (even bosses), all family that you haven't seen in the past five years, all Packers fans, etc. Make a decision together and stick with it. People will understand. (Except for perhaps that football prejudice... better hold off on that one.) Your guest list and your budget go hand-in-hand; everything from the cake cost to the party favor bill to the equipment rental fee is directly correlated to your number of guests. The only thing that those dreaded numbers won't effect is the fact that you'll be somebody's wife at the end of the day. But when it comes down to it, I guess that's all that really matters.
The problem is simple: you are way more popular than you thought. No, really- I would never lie to you like that. Your thought progression will go something like this... At first, it's a simple list of close mutual friends and immediate family. Totally doable. And then it's your best friends from high school. Great. Those girls from your college suite. Sure. That group of people that he worked with. Maybe. The great-aunts and fourth cousins that have always been included in family events like this. Intimidating. Current coworkers, rec leagues, neighbors, and all of their dates. Completely ridiculous. This is never going to work.
And the simple truth of the matter is this: you simply can't invite everyone that you know. Yes, your great aunt Martha is probably going to be offended that she wasn't necessary to your ceremony. And yes, your husband may be a little upset at the fact that his junior-high tennis partner was dropped. But that's okay; he'll get over it. In today's world, brides typically have to choose between a 500 person attendance or the steak and champagne dinner. And sometimes it's a hard choice, but you want your wedding to be memorable and enjoyable for everyone involved. (For my husband and I, the sacrifice of our family and friends just wasn't worth a stunning reception hall or a Hummer limo getaway.)
Don't let this stress you out too much. Rule people out by categories: all coworkers (even bosses), all family that you haven't seen in the past five years, all Packers fans, etc. Make a decision together and stick with it. People will understand. (Except for perhaps that football prejudice... better hold off on that one.) Your guest list and your budget go hand-in-hand; everything from the cake cost to the party favor bill to the equipment rental fee is directly correlated to your number of guests. The only thing that those dreaded numbers won't effect is the fact that you'll be somebody's wife at the end of the day. But when it comes down to it, I guess that's all that really matters.
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