Okay... now that you have those intimidating first things done, the big fun starts! Yay! From here on out, you're either going to be up to your ears in wedding details, or purposefully stretching the planning out so that you can have some later. (Either way, it's exciting!) Your next big task: make a plan about planning. I know that sounds ridiculous (and I know that's what gets Joy in trouble in What Happens In Vegas), but things will go much more smoothly for you later if you map the process out now! (Sometimes, it's okay to 'plan to make plans'.) Sit down tonight or sometime this week and figure out your planning priorities: Do you absolutely have to have a designer dress? Can't live without a certain caterer? Have a friend in a band that books up really fast? Set the most important things first- what things are you going to plan your wedding around? The details and big items about your day that are most important to you are the ones that you should guarantee to be there- you have a picture in your head, and we (I mean... you) need to make it work!
If you've chosen a long engagement (more than 9-10 months), pace yourself. Don't plan everything now- your mid-section will be boring. (And no... I don't mean your personal midsection. I mean the middle portion of your engagement.) I have a friend who's getting married this fall that was engaged for about two-and-a-half years. (Personally, I admire her patience... I never could have done that! We'd have been too stressed, both physically and emotionally, to go through with it.) Anyways, we discussed planning and found that it was much better to have something to plan every month... otherwise you get all your planning done in the first few months, and then sit around waiting for a long time until your wedding. My advice- get your dress one month, pick your napkins and favors the next, look at wedding rings after that, follow up a few weeks after with the cake... have something to look foward to every month that you can do. (If you have a short engagement... way to go! Let's get moving!)
The greatest help you can possibly give yourself: get a membership (most are free) on a wedding website that has an interactive to-do list. (I chose theknot.com, simply because I found it so easy to navigate and super-helpful with every topic. Check it out!) This planning website is also where you'll set up your personal 'wedding website', keep track of your budget and guest list, and spend almost all of your work lunch-breaks (and likely a few hours during the day... don't tell your boss) from here on out! With a guided timeline, you're bound not to miss anything big. (And that kind of insurance is a huge relief.) In fact, I'm kinda shocked that you're still here reading this- leave. Go find a website. Sign-up. Tell them I sent you. :)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
First Things First...
When you think 'the big things' in wedding planning, what do you think of? The dress? The colors? The wedding party people? The cake? The hours that you're going to spend mulling over invitation wording and format? :) If you're like me, that's the exciting stuff- the stuff you're really looking forward to. Unfortunately, you've gotta tackle some pretty big (and not always fun) stuff before you get there. Sorry... that 'wedding planning notebook' that your best friend got you the week after you got engaged is going to have to wait; I know it's calling to you like uneaten chips-and-salsa call to my husband, but you'll have to suffer through it for a few more days. There are four main things that you should set down in stone before you do anything else: date and venue, budget, theme, and level of groom/parental involvement. (No... that last one is not a joke.)
Date and venue: I put these two things together because they often go hand-in-hand. You should consider the general time frame that you want your wedding to take place... Do you want to be done with school? Do you wanna be a June bride? Does the venue that you want look best at a certain time of the year? Will your family and loved ones be able to travel at that time? Are you sure you can wait more than six months? (I sure couldn't have!) In addition to all those sorts of questions, most venues book very quickly, and may only have certain dates available, so it's good to think of these two things as a pair. As far as your venue goes, you should pick something that has particular meaning to you or your personality: I got married in my church; my friends from college got married at a wildlife park; my personal favorite lately was a couple from my high school that got married in a gorgeous old theater... how cool is that?!? My point is: do something meaningful to you, and memorable to other people... I knew I would have my ceremony in my church, but for my reception I considered everything from an art/furniture gallery to an amazingly beautiful historic train station lobby. Sweet.
Next thing to tackle: budget. I know... yuck. But it's gotta be done, I'm afraid. Look at the bright side, when you've gotten it all sorted out, you'll know exactly how much you can spend on that little clutch that would make the perfect accessory for your big day. (Haha. Okay, so hopefully you're not that obsessed so early on. If you are, we need to have a talk.) Anyways, if you haven't previously discussed this, sit down with your fiance and one (or both) sets of your parents (but not both sets together... that would be awkward due to different abilities to finance) and talk 'moolah'. This is an intimidating discussion. My best tips- gauge which set of parents is more likely to be able to finance your affair, and go to them first. Then, if needed, sit down with the other couple. At any rate, finances will affect anything and everything about your big day, from the reception music and embossed napkins to your personal beauty routine.
Once you have your budget, it's time to sit down (with your groom) and determine what theme the two of you are hoping to create on your day together. Are you into the 50's era? Do you follow the modern chic trends? Will your theme be determined by your venue? (The couple at the old theater used a 20's theme- it was great!) By your colors? (This is a common way to do it, and alway looks lovely.) By your personalities? (Goofy and eclectic vs. classically elegant.) Whatever you choose to do, make it something that you both love, because this general theme will occupy all of your thoughts for the next several months- you think I'm kidding right now, but you'll see. Oh, you'll see.
Lastly, ask your groom up front how much input he'd like in decisions. Some grooms are totally and completely hands-off. (This is nice for you, but frustrating for his wedding-obsessed mother.) The only problem this can create is a lack of desire to help you with anything, which can (and will) get somewhat tiresome for you. Other grooms will want input on some things, such as the food, the dance playlist, or their tuxes, but won't care much about flowers or favors. (Until, of course, you pick a program-style that he's not a fan of. Then you'll realize that he actually does want to be consulted on most things.) You may occasionally find a groom that is excited about planning and wants to be involved from phase one... my best wishes to you. Good luck. Another thing to discuss with your future hubby (whoa... yay!) is how much input your parents will have. Most parents will stay out of the way of planning, but in the event of a particularly excited relative, the two of you will need to present a united front on how you feel. (This may be somewhat dependent on who is footing the bill... you're required to at least listen to all they have to say.) Don't forget that they're looking forward to this wedding as well. So get over your inner-Bridezilla. Remember that it's your man's day too... don't you want him to look back and say that it was a perfect day? I sure did. (And he does!)
Date and venue: I put these two things together because they often go hand-in-hand. You should consider the general time frame that you want your wedding to take place... Do you want to be done with school? Do you wanna be a June bride? Does the venue that you want look best at a certain time of the year? Will your family and loved ones be able to travel at that time? Are you sure you can wait more than six months? (I sure couldn't have!) In addition to all those sorts of questions, most venues book very quickly, and may only have certain dates available, so it's good to think of these two things as a pair. As far as your venue goes, you should pick something that has particular meaning to you or your personality: I got married in my church; my friends from college got married at a wildlife park; my personal favorite lately was a couple from my high school that got married in a gorgeous old theater... how cool is that?!? My point is: do something meaningful to you, and memorable to other people... I knew I would have my ceremony in my church, but for my reception I considered everything from an art/furniture gallery to an amazingly beautiful historic train station lobby. Sweet.
Next thing to tackle: budget. I know... yuck. But it's gotta be done, I'm afraid. Look at the bright side, when you've gotten it all sorted out, you'll know exactly how much you can spend on that little clutch that would make the perfect accessory for your big day. (Haha. Okay, so hopefully you're not that obsessed so early on. If you are, we need to have a talk.) Anyways, if you haven't previously discussed this, sit down with your fiance and one (or both) sets of your parents (but not both sets together... that would be awkward due to different abilities to finance) and talk 'moolah'. This is an intimidating discussion. My best tips- gauge which set of parents is more likely to be able to finance your affair, and go to them first. Then, if needed, sit down with the other couple. At any rate, finances will affect anything and everything about your big day, from the reception music and embossed napkins to your personal beauty routine.
Once you have your budget, it's time to sit down (with your groom) and determine what theme the two of you are hoping to create on your day together. Are you into the 50's era? Do you follow the modern chic trends? Will your theme be determined by your venue? (The couple at the old theater used a 20's theme- it was great!) By your colors? (This is a common way to do it, and alway looks lovely.) By your personalities? (Goofy and eclectic vs. classically elegant.) Whatever you choose to do, make it something that you both love, because this general theme will occupy all of your thoughts for the next several months- you think I'm kidding right now, but you'll see. Oh, you'll see.
Lastly, ask your groom up front how much input he'd like in decisions. Some grooms are totally and completely hands-off. (This is nice for you, but frustrating for his wedding-obsessed mother.) The only problem this can create is a lack of desire to help you with anything, which can (and will) get somewhat tiresome for you. Other grooms will want input on some things, such as the food, the dance playlist, or their tuxes, but won't care much about flowers or favors. (Until, of course, you pick a program-style that he's not a fan of. Then you'll realize that he actually does want to be consulted on most things.) You may occasionally find a groom that is excited about planning and wants to be involved from phase one... my best wishes to you. Good luck. Another thing to discuss with your future hubby (whoa... yay!) is how much input your parents will have. Most parents will stay out of the way of planning, but in the event of a particularly excited relative, the two of you will need to present a united front on how you feel. (This may be somewhat dependent on who is footing the bill... you're required to at least listen to all they have to say.) Don't forget that they're looking forward to this wedding as well. So get over your inner-Bridezilla. Remember that it's your man's day too... don't you want him to look back and say that it was a perfect day? I sure did. (And he does!)
Friday, July 24, 2009
Welcome to Reality...
I married my best friend about a month ago.
It was picture perfect. My best friends stood up with me, my Daddy walked me down the aisle, I had an altar full of candles and a church full of my favorite people, there were fun ribbons on everything that could be detailed, and I had such a good time that my smile muscles are still sore. Picture. Perfect. Okay, so Clinton took forever on the aisle runner, I got called by my sister's name at first, and the rings put up a fight to fit on our fingers... but those things make for a light and fun ceremony. All in all, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Well, I might've done some things differently if I'd been the only one that mattered.
But contrary to today's typical bride, I wanted my husband to look back on our day and know that everything about it was how he had wanted it too. Given, it makes for harder planning, but it does teach lessons about communication, patience, and compromise that most people wait until after the wedding to learn. Personally, I'd advise my route to anyone. (But then again... every person with either integrity or vanity would recommend their own way of doing things to anyone. I don't know what that really says about me. Take from that what you will. Haha.)
In short, my intent with this blog is to have a positive (and hopefully productive and instructive) outlet for my planning-withdrawal. (Which perhaps I'll do an entire post on eventually.) Put shortly, I'm writing my advice and thoughts in here so that I don't start planning all of your weddings and insisting that I do everything except wear the pretty white dress. I promise not to do any of that... if you promise to send me an invite... and read my stuff. :)
It was picture perfect. My best friends stood up with me, my Daddy walked me down the aisle, I had an altar full of candles and a church full of my favorite people, there were fun ribbons on everything that could be detailed, and I had such a good time that my smile muscles are still sore. Picture. Perfect. Okay, so Clinton took forever on the aisle runner, I got called by my sister's name at first, and the rings put up a fight to fit on our fingers... but those things make for a light and fun ceremony. All in all, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Well, I might've done some things differently if I'd been the only one that mattered.
But contrary to today's typical bride, I wanted my husband to look back on our day and know that everything about it was how he had wanted it too. Given, it makes for harder planning, but it does teach lessons about communication, patience, and compromise that most people wait until after the wedding to learn. Personally, I'd advise my route to anyone. (But then again... every person with either integrity or vanity would recommend their own way of doing things to anyone. I don't know what that really says about me. Take from that what you will. Haha.)
In short, my intent with this blog is to have a positive (and hopefully productive and instructive) outlet for my planning-withdrawal. (Which perhaps I'll do an entire post on eventually.) Put shortly, I'm writing my advice and thoughts in here so that I don't start planning all of your weddings and insisting that I do everything except wear the pretty white dress. I promise not to do any of that... if you promise to send me an invite... and read my stuff. :)
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